A Nasarawa-based housewife, Rosemary Osegba Clem, said she had no remorse at hacking her mother-in-law, Mrs. Ashi Clem, to death on 18 March in the Abena community in the Doma Local Government Area of the State, as a result of the woman’s intervention in her marriage.
In an interview with The Nation, Rosemary said that she and Abagu Clem, a farmer and merchant, had married in February 2016, but the marriage had not yet given birth to a child.
According to Rosemary, she and her mother-in-law became sworn enemies on the day that Clem, the only girl, revealed her to be his wife.
Rosemary says that her mother-in-law’s attempts to get Clem not to marry her proved abortive as he held his ground, adamant that she was the one for him.
Clem’s intention to ignore his mother to move through with the marriage is claimed to have gone wrong with his mother, because she reportedly vowed never to enable the marriage to work.
Rosemary claimed that her mother-in-law never concealed her hate towards her, because any little dispute they had was quickly escalated to a big one, culminating in quarrel and physical battle in certain situations.
As said by Rosemary, her failure to raise a child for her husband saw her mother in law place strain on her to take another partner. She said that at one point her husband had began to give in to his mother’s interference and been introduced to a girl who had started staying with her mother in-law. The inevitable danger to her marriage compelled her to take her mother’s life because she could not share it with another woman.
In the early hours of Saturday, March 18, 2020, Rosemary stormed into her mother-in-law’s room and hacked her to death in her sleep.
In the interview, Rosemary said she was able to face the repercussions.
“My mother-in-law made life unbearable for me because I could not bear a child for her son. It has been hell for me from day one of this marriage. My mother-in-law did everything humanly possible for me to leave the marriage. She always swore that if indeed she was my husband’s mother, she would not allow the marriage to work. I did everything humanly possible to appease her, but it was all to no avail.
She insisted that I must leave the house and that her son must get married to another girl. True to her threats, she went as far as getting another girl for my husband. I also blame my husband for telling his mother everything about our private matters, including sex, finance and other issues. My husband always complained that I refused him sex most times, even though I told him that I’m not the type that likes to have sex all the time.
I don’t have sexual feelings like other women because I was circumcised. But I told him I loved him. We had sex only once in a week, but he couldn’t bear it, and he told his mother who had already developed hatred for me about it. My husband decided to focus his attention on the new girlfriend his mother brought for him. Most times, the girl would spend a whole week in my mother-in-law’s apartment with the consent of my husband. When I could no longer bear it, I took the decision to eliminate her so that I can save my marriage.
I still love my husband and cannot afford to share him with anybody. It is God that gives children. I strongly believe that one day, I will also take in and deliver. It is all in God’s hands. She accused me openly of cheating on her son by calling me all sorts of names, which is embarrassing to me. I was ashamed of myself even moving around. I don’t know what I did to her. The trauma and intimidation became unbearable for me, so I was forced to kill her before she would disgrace me out of my husband’s house.
My parents are no longer alive. If she gets me out of this marriage, where will I go? Ordinarily, I don’t have much problem with my husband. We always have a way of settling our issues. But her interference was overbearing. In the midst of these, my husband, who used to love me so much suddenly changed and was completely obeying his mom’s directives and I watched him sleep with the proposed girl by his mother, it was clear that he does not have feelings for me anymore.
I took the decision (to kill her) because I was ready for the worst. The marriage had become boring and characterized by crisis, courtesy of my mother in law.
At a point, it became obvious to me that the marriage had irretrievably broken up. I suggested to my husband that since he was convinced by what his mother was telling him, he should let us call it over and I would move on, but he refused. So I concluded that killing her would stabilise my marriage and restore my happiness. I hatched the plan for some time but only made up my mind to execute it today.” she said
On his side, 43 years old, Mr. Chem, the only son of his parents who had lost his father when he was just 18 years old, said he was saddened and puzzled by the entire event. He said that he loved and missed his mum.
“She taught me to be the man that I am today—strong, kind and someone who believed in giving a second chance. When my father died, things were not easy, but this woman stood by me to survive the trauma. I am really hurt and traumatised by the violent and horrifying act she committed. My mother was compassionate and caring. Never did I doubt her unconditional love for me. She had taught me to dream and ultimately to live unselfishly.
“My mother was not wicked or cold-blooded as my wife is painting her. I used to tell her to be calm, but she refused. What does she want me to do? To fight my mother who gave birth to me? Now that she has killed my mother, she will be the one to tell me what she wants, and at the appropriate time, I will battle it out with her. I won’t take it lightly.”he said