It only happens if you let it. Have you ever left a date feeling like a complete fool, wondering what happened? You clearly missed the warning signs the guy sent or perhaps didn’t know what to look for.
I’ve seen this happen so many times, and being made a fool of by men has got to stop. That’s why I’m going to reveal how to know if a guy is playing you, and the seven red flags that let you know he’s serious about you. If you allow it, he’ll make a fool out of you. He’s not necessarily mean, but he just doesn’t want the same type of relationship that you do.
Often, this problem stems from single women believing they can change a man’s desire for a relationship. That’s pure fantasy. Once a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, or when he doesn’t make time to see you on real dates, the rest lands on your shoulders.
Yes, it’s up to you to maintain standards for the treatment you want and deserve. Establishing boundaries means you know what you will and will not put up with to have a man in your life.
And quality men who want a loving relationship will pursue you and do their best to win you over. They will happily spend time with you, treat you well, and try to impress you.
If he doesn’t act this way from the start or dating disintegrates into a virtual relationship, you need to cut him loose. Otherwise, the chances are extremely high that you have some serious embarrassment headed your way.
Here are 7 signs a guy is playing you and sending you mixed signals.
1. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, but you date him anyway: You go on a first date with a man who has many qualities you’re seeking. He tells you right away he doesn’t want a relationship and then engages you in interesting conversation. You like him and decide to see where things go.
This is a big mistake. When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, you need to believe him and move on.
2. He flirts with you, but doesn’t ask you out: This man — you know him from work, the gym or church — is such a flirt. He goes out of his way to turn your head. Funny thing is, he never asks you out. He’s always happy to see you, but it doesn’t go any further, and that’s your clue he’s not seriously interested.
Any man who wants to date you will ask you out. If he doesn’t, there’s something holding him back, so move on.
3. He says he’s never been in love: This is a tough one. Some women are drawn to a man who appears vulnerable and admits he’s never been in love, like a moth to a flame. He becomes your “love project” because you think he just hasn’t met the right woman yet (AKA you).
Thoughts like these will leave you feeling foolish when he breaks it off. If he hasn’t been in love and he’s over 40, he doesn’t want to be in love. Don’t fall for this — just walk away.
4. He texts, but doesn’t have time to see you: So many men love texting. But any man who texts you “Good morning beautiful” but doesn’t have time to see you is probably texting several other women the same message. Imagine the ego boost of texting with a bunch of single gals.
Don’t waste your time, no matter how much fun texting him is or how “into you” he seems. If he was serious, he’d spend time with you in person.
5. He’s newly divorced, isn’t ready for anything serious, but wants to “see where things go.”: This is a tricky red flag because he tells you right off he doesn’t want anything serious. Yet, he dangles the possibility of a relationship based on how things go.
In your mind you know things could go well because you’re a great catch. So, you decide to take the chance.
Big mistake! When a man tells you he isn’t serious, he means it. Finish your glass of wine and say goodbye.
6. He brings “take out” to your place, but you never go out: Your date suggests takeout and watching a movie at your place (the old “Netflix and chill” routine). Sounds cozy, right? But this is the man code for “booty call.”
He comes over to your place, but he never takes you out on a proper dinner date. Why? Chances are he can’t risk being seen in public with another woman because he’s in a relationship or married.
Avoid dates at home until you’ve had several dates in public to see how serious a man is about pursuing you.
7. You always set up dates because he doesn’t: When you call and ask him to do something, he agrees to meet you. But he never initiates anything.
Is he lazy? Maybe, but the more likely motivation (or lack of it) is that he’s just passing time with you. He has fun and you’re willing to do all the work, so why not spend time with you until he meets a woman he likes more?
Don’t be a place holder if you don’t want to feel foolish. If he doesn’t ask you out, regardless of the reason, drop him — fast.
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