What to do when you discover your wife/husband is cheating on you
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The first discourse on our list is: “What to do when you discover your wife/husband is cheating on you?”. Indeed this is a troubling one! And trust me guys because I have been in your shoes.
Before going into the recommended steps, let’s understand what marriage is.
Marriage is the union between two mature adults (Man and a Woman. Marriage is the association of love, understanding, peace, endurance, etc. To be honest, marriage is the bed of joy and fulfillment.
With all these listed positive attributes of marriage and you discover your wife or husband cheating on you, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
The first recommended step is to get angry! Do you ask why get angry? Well, anger is a clear indication that you love him or her. However, never destroy life or property while expressing your anger. You should take a walk away from the scene (We are assuming you caught your wife having sex with another man vis-a-vis). This leads us to our second recommended step
The second recommended step is to look for a solitary place (of course away from danger zone) to think over the relationship and the just-seen-event. This helps you evaluate your decisions and organize them making you solely responsible for the next action. During this process try your best possible to keep a positive mind that is: “She/he must have a logical explanation for this”, “Why has this person done this”. It is highly recommended that you don’t think of death as an option or break-up as an option.
An additional tip is if you feel angry or disappointed which you will Try to think of the fun time you both once had before the incidence.
The third recommended step is to give yourself a break or time-out. This simply means you take a day or two days leave from work (that is if you are working under someone or in an office). This helps you keep your clean record because there is a tendency for you to think about it during work which will affect your output negatively. So call your boss and humbly plead for a day or two sick leave.
However, note! Not all bosses will grant this request. It is however expedient that you keep a positive mindset towards your work and everyone
ð An additional point is that don’t think of retaliation. This will only endanger your life and reshape negatively your experience towards the opposite sex.
The next step is to comfort him/her. Make-up your mind to ask your spouse question *WITH PEACEFUL COMMUNICATION.
The Groundbreaking point is what I recommend the most. Go on your knees and pray. Yes, pray! Prayer cannot be over-ruled. It is an indication that you are mature either as a man or woman
These options should be ruled out from your mind
- Fighting (NOT AN OPTION)
- Odd words (NOT AN OPTION)
- Malice (NOT AN OPTION) When you keep malice, you open the door to the third party that will destroy the relationship
- Sex Denial (NOT AN OPTION)
- Breaking Marriage Vows (NOT AN OPTION)
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Pastor Sarah Olubunmi (Marriage Counselor in MFM)